Some may react with slight embarrassment or even with an awkward silence, but that’s okay. Assuming that you’re a decent boss and the overall work environment is pretty good, they’ll walk out the door feeling on top of the world knowing that they matter.

I was quoted yesterday in a blog post on The Glass Hammer, an online community for women executives in financial services, law and business. I stand by what I said: “Flowers, a card, candy, and a lovely lunch are all terrific—and I would never, ever discourage a boss from doing these kinds of things in honor of Administrative Professionals Day. However, these are not the things that admins want most. What they really want—and what will make them feel extremely valued and appreciated—are opportunities for professional development and career growth.” 

But a comment in the same post from Jennifer Bergeron, Human Resources Training Specialist for Summit County Government in Breckenridge, Colorado, really gave me pause. Jennifer concurred that career advancement and education opportunities for administrative professionals “lets them know that they’re part of the team, not an outsider.”  But she also said, “Speaking as a professional past administrative assistant, I actually felt demoted when recognized for the day.  I’ve worked in small offices, and served more as a marketing assistant, event director, and public relations specialist, so when flowers appeared on my desk to note my admin skills, I tried to be happy about it on the outside, but inside I wondered if that’s how I was truly seen.”

This annual workplace holiday just may be outdated and irrelevant…and it’s unlikely to be much of a morale-builder. Many factors contribute to high morale, and a big one is when bosses at every level consistently acknowledge, affirm, thank, and show appreciation to every employee, all year around. But since the annual observance isn’t going to go away any time soon, bosses should consider the advice I gave in The Glass Hammer post: Eliminate the guesswork, and ask employees how they like to be recognized and what makes them feel appreciated. And I’ll take that a step further. Right now, with the next Administrative Professionals Day almost a year away, sit down with your clerical and administrative personnel and ask what they honestly think of the day. If they like it, find out how they’d like to be recognized when the day rolls around in 2010. And if they don’t like it, offer to ignore the observance from now on.

I’ll explain in a moment. But first, let’s recap. One week ago today, on April 13, a video was posted on YouTube showing a few Domino’s employees doing some really disgusting things with food, as they appeared to be preparing it for customers. The video has since been taken down, so I don’t know how many people ultimately viewed it-but I read that on April 15, it had been viewed 562,627 times by 8 a.m., 728,816 times by 3 p.m., and 930,390 times by 9:30 p.m. A stellar example of social media’s viral nature.

The employees have been fired and face felony charges. And Domino’s is now fighting for its reputation. A two-minute video created by the Domino’s organization, featuring an apology by Patrick Doyle, president of Domino’s USA, was posted on YouTube on April 15. I just checked, and it has received 540,896 views in five days-not bad, but certainly no comparison to the number of views the damaging video received just in one day.

So here’s why I’m feeling just a teensy bit smug. A year ago-on April 16, 2008-I wrote a blog post titled, “The Domino’s effect.” I detailed an experience of mine with the big pizza chain-or more specifically, with an extremely apathetic Domino’s employee. It had to do with being charged $16.00 for two medium pizzas, although three mediums cost $15.00.

The point of my post wasn’t that the employee was a bad person or even a bad employee. My point was that Domino’s clearly did not empower its employees to make even the smallest decisions in order to make customers happy. I wrote, “Somewhere up the line, a manager at Domino’s decided that this low-paid, hourly worker was not important to the success of the company. Someone made the decision that he didn’t need to understand the goals of the company and that he didn’t need to understand how he contributed to the achievement of those goals. And it’s clear that no one thought he should be empowered to give the customer a good experience. Who can blame the kid for not caring?”

Unempowered employees become apathetic employees. It’s the only way they can really survive that kind of work environment. If they continue to care, but can’t do anything about it, they’ll be miserable, frustrated, and angry. Stop caring—and it’s much easier to get through your shift.

As far as I can tell, Domino’s still doesn’t get it, even in the face of this supreme (go ahead and groan!) reputation nightmare. In the video, Doyle says, “Nothing is more important or sacred to us than our customers’ trust.”

That way of thinking is faulty, Mr. Doyle. There is something more important than the trust of your customers. It’s the commitment and loyalty of your employees, which only happens when they are empowered, respected, communicated with, valued, thanked, and made to feel that they are an important part of the company’s success.

Doyal also says, “We are re-examining our hiring practices.” Well-that’s never a bad idea. But I suggest, Patrick, that you re-examine the way employees are treated, too.  Even the best employees become negative and apathetic if they are not empowered, respected, communicated with, valued, thanked, and made to feel that they are an important part of the company’s success.

“It sickens me that the actions of two individuals could impact our great system,” Doyle says in the video.

It’s tragic that any well-intentioned organization should have its reputation threatened by the sickening actions of two employees. I have genuine compassion for everyone affiliated with Domino’s and sincerely hope they weather this storm.

But Mr. Doyle, as you evaluate the cause of this crisis and implement policies to prevent anything like this from happening again, please don’t miss a very important lesson.  It can be found in the three words I used to end the blog entry I posted almost one year ago to the day before the corporate giant’s image went south: “Employee morale and reputation go hand in hand. Domino’s got eight bucks from me that day. But my opinion of the company tanked. Every employee matters.”

You might be thinking, “Sure, I’d be extremely happy, too, if nothing bad ever happened to me.” But the book makes it abundantly clear that EHP have their share of sadness and misfortune in life, and in some cases, more than their share. The thing is, while really happy folks allow themselves to feel sad or angry or frustrated, or whatever, they don’t allow those feelings or the incidents themselves to define who they are or to control the rest of their lives.  They deal maturely with adversity. They rebound, grow from the experience, and make a choice to be happy again.

I mentioned last week that through their research, the authors also discovered that leaders who are considered (based on many measures) to be really great leaders make the same nine decisions in their lives that EHP make. Therefore,  extremely great leaders are extremely happy people.

This isn’t a great surprise, is it? Everyone has to deal with loss, tragedies, hardships, disappointments, health issues, relationship problems, and experiences with hurtful people.  And we’re all entitled to our reactions when life is difficult.  But leaders must be balanced, mature, professional and gracious regardless of the circumstances surrounding them at work or at home.  Leaders who lack resilience should get out of the way and let others do the leading. So if you want to be a great leader, make sure that you’re an extremely happy person. And if you’re not—learn how to become one. You won’t regret it.

About ten years ago, “How We Choose To Be Happy,” was published and pretty much became an overnight bestseller. The book’s subtitle is, “The 9 choices of extremely happy people—their secrets, their stories.” Rick Foster and Greg Hicks, two successful management consultants, wrote the book after interviewing with more than 300 people who are, by all accounts, standards and measures, extremely happy.

Rick and Greg discovered that every extremely happy person they spoke with made the same nine choices in life…regardless of where they lived, how they were raised, what kind of job they had, level of education, circumstances, or any other factor you can think of.  And guess what. They’ve also found that really great leaders make those same nine decisions in their lives.

I’m typically a very happy person, but today I am deliriously happy, because I spent a good part of the day yesterday at a workshop led by Rick Foster. He is inspiring, kind, wise, insightful, and energetic. He’s also very funny and knows how to keep a room of PR/HR folks alert, engaged, and excited. I learned so much and took pages of notes that will soon be captured in blog posts. It was an amazing experience, and I’m serious—I woke up this morning with what can only be described as a happiness hangover. What a great feeling!

Leaders frequently have opportunities and perks that are not afforded those in subordinate positions—and that’s appropriate. Among other things, these extras might include a company car or credit card, association memberships, occasional trips, long business lunches, or an office with a window. And these things are fine.

But when it comes down to the way people are treated and the way a person demonstrates integrity, there’s no special pass for the boss. The person in charge must always set an example by doing what is right.

Set an outstanding example for those you oversee by doing these ten things that outstanding leaders always do: 

1. Start and end meetings on time.
2. Express appreciation frequently.
3. Say please and thank you.
4. Give credit where credit is due.
5. If an apology is called for…then apologize.
6. Share as much job-related information as possible.
7. Be honest, kind and compassionate.
8. Pitch in and help when help is needed.
9. Respect the privacy of others and don’t gossip.
10. Do your part to keep the workplace neat, clean and organized.

I always advise employees to refrain from gossiping-and those in management absolutely must not gossip.  It’s harmful to all involved-and the harm may be to your reputation. Remember that your colleagues who love to gossip about others will also love gossiping about you. Gossipers are insecure with themselves, and talking about others makes them feel more important and powerful. They will often reel you in with behavior that makes you feel like you’re a special friend and confidante-but typically, folks like this will spread rumors about everyone and anyone.

So make up your mind that you won’t provide fodder for the rumor mill.  Always dress, speak, write, and behave appropriately and professionally at work. Don’t share stories about your weekend escapades, fights with your significant other, or financial problems. Don’t tell or be a party to off-color jokes. Be a class act. Treat everyone, from the CEO to the custodian, with respect.

I’ve read about some businesses that have a ban on gossip and impose consequences on employees who talk behind the backs of co-workers, customers, or others. Sounds like a good idea to me, but some leaders may be reluctant to establish a policy like that. Every person in management should set an example in this regard, though, and make it clear that you’re not interested in being a part of conversations that involve gossip, backstabbing, or spreading rumors. If you consistently demonstrate that you don’t participate in office gossip, the gossipers will eventually stop including you in those conversations.

The words?  I screwed up.

I’ve frequently said, and will continue to say, that a class called Humility 101 should be a required course in every MBA program. There are just way too many bosses and people in leadership positions who mistakenly believe that they will lose respect if they acknowledge that they made a mistake. They believe it will make them look weak.

But on the contrary, leaders actually demonstrate and convey great strength when they humbly acknowledge of an error, apologize, admit that they don’t know an answer, or own up to making a lousy decision.  Assuming a leader is competent and isn’t apologizing for something every other day, these actions are all indicators of real, true human beings who accept the fact that none of us are perfect, we all bungle things from time to time, and everyone has strengths and weaknesses.

Leaders who can admit their own shortcomings inspire people to work harder and to be more creative, because they aren’t terrified of making a mistake.

I was wrong. I’m sorry. I screwed up. Important words that leaders and every single one of us should use when called for.

The point is that you should never take any employee for granted—particularly the ones you need the most. And to let these folks know that you appreciate them, value them, care about them, and want to keep them happy at work, there’s one question you absolutely must ask them. It may seem simple. It may seem obvious. But how often have you asked this question (or had it asked of you)?

The question is this: What can I do to make your job more rewarding, interesting, and satisfying?

Some employees will have lots to say, as if they’ve been waiting for you to ask.  Some will laugh and ask you if you’re serious. Others may be uncomfortable answering such a question and tell you that everything’s fine. In that case, tell the employee that you’d like him to think about it for a day or so, and perhaps write down some thoughts. But insist on a response, because I can guarantee everyone has something to say when asked this question.

Regardless of what the employee says will make her job more rewarding, interesting, and satisfying, take it seriously. Don’t guffaw, knit your eyebrows, or sarcastically say, “Yeah, right. Don’t hold your breath on that one.”

You asked the question, and must respect the answer and discuss it with the employee. Tell them honestly what you can and can’t do. Tell them what you’d like to do and when you’d like to do it. Involve them in the process of making their jobs better, if at all possible. Show an interest in everything they say.  And to demonstrate how sincerely you care about their happiness, you might ask them why they feel that way.

Ask THE QUESTION at least every three months. Go ahead, write it on your calendar so you won’t forget. Tomorrow, I’ll write about other questions you should ask in the intervening months.

You may be ecstatic about our new president. Or you may not agree with his policies, politics, and philosophies. Regardless, I think most Americans will agree that Obama won the election because he offered hope. And hope, I believe, is what keeps us going. 

Hope motivates us to keep trying, gives us the determination to overcome obstacles, and keeps our spirits from plummeting. It’s hope that does these things…not money. Not things. Not the nice office with a window, the company car, insurance benefits or paid vacation. It’s hope. As a people, we need hope to move the country forward.  And on the job, your employees need hope to move the company forward.

You provide your staff with hope when you show them you care about them as individuals-not just as employees. When you consistently show appreciation and say thank you. When you demonstrate an interest in their futures and in their career growth. When you communicate with them extensively, train them appropriately, and answer their questions kindly and patiently-no matter what the question.

You deliver hope to employees when you treat everyone fairly, admit when you’re wrong, ask for their advice, and listen to their concerns. When you’re not afraid to hear their criticisms of you and of the company.  When you welcome their input and front-line observations. When you do what you’ve said you will do. And when you’re consistently pleasant and professional.

Give your employees hope…and they’ll give you commitment, hard work, teamwork, and ingenuity. Your company…like our country…can afford nothing less.